Leadership Is A State Of Mind

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

John Quincy Adams

In this modern world, where everyone is competing against each other for a promotion, most of us think that leadership is about a position. A position, where you can control and manage others to make them to do their jobs.

There are people among us who would take extreme measures to make sure that other people obey and respect them as leaders. This includes blame game, being rude towards subordinates, taking credits for another person’s work and initiating or supporting gossiping. None of these bad traits are the qualities of a good leader. Your position as a leader may look good in your resume, but in real life you will not be respected.

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.”

Jim Rohn

Leadership is a state of mind. It’s an attitude to inspire and motivate others with or without having a top administrative or management position. A good leader lead by an example.

The qualities of a good leader are:

– Integrity

Trustworthiness

Humility

Non judgemental

Transparency

Honesty

Empathy

Confidence

Good communication skills

Good listening skill

Having a vision

Commitment

– Approachability

Adaptability

Knowledge of the subject

I believe that a leader should be confident and strong to take tough decisions but also should be empathetic and approachable. A good leader should never be judgemental about anyone and should always avoid gossips and partiality.

I also believe that juniors, subordinates or followers consider one person as their leader if they can relate that person to themselves. So, a good leader should be able to inspire and motivate others. They should set an example by practicing what they are preaching.

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”

John C. Maxwell

“The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.”

Colin Powell

“The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.”

Kenneth Blanchard

So, are you a leader by position or a leader by attitude?

Please leave your comments on the topic as I would really love to read them.

Grace

Walking on the beach and letting the sunlight touch my skin,

I allowed sand and water to be my kin,

While listening to the waves and watching the birds sing,

Tears rolled down as it made my heart swing.

Thinking only about all the disappointments and downs in my life,

I wasn’t being grateful to the God who gave me the life.

Then I saw a young girl selling roasted peanuts,

With dirty hands, torn clothes but she was no nuts,

Even after a dreadful long day she had her hopes high,

With love in her eyes, she walked gracefully without giving a sigh.

When she offered me her peanuts seeing me cry,

I could only stare at her and couldn’t ask why,

The beach was a place where I could find my final peace,

Instead I found God in her face and I walked back in grace in one piece.

Please leave your comments on the post as I would really love to read them.

Honesty is still the best policy….

Nowadays, we find a lot of people around us who love to twist the truth for their own benefits. They don’t mind even if it tarnishes the character of a person or hurts a person to an extent that it can cause mental imbalance. Only thing that these kind of people care, is their own safety and reputation.

Let me tell you a story about two nurses, a staff nurse and a senior nurse. One day, it was noticed during the pharmacy check that some of the drugs of a patient were missing as there was no record of it being given to the patient. It came to the notice of the ward manager that those two members of the staff were working on the day when the patient was discharged. Both of them were summoned. The staff nurse knew that it was her senior who discharged the patient but as it happened a while ago, she could not recollect what really happened. So, she told the ward manager that she really doesn’t remember. The senior staff member blamed the junior one for the incident, even though she knew that it was her mistake. The pharmacist found out later that the medicines were given to the patient but the problem was in the documentation. If only, the senior staff could have told the truth that she forgot to sign, the junior one didn’t have to go through all the tension and insult.

Who do you think that you feel like giving respect, the staff nurse or the senior nurse? Does the position or status of a person is more valuable than the virtues of another? Do you think that you will benefit more with dishonesty and lies and also that those profits are really profits? Do you think that accepting our mistakes can make us less honored?

One of the virtues that I really value is honesty and I really think that if a person can’t be honest then he or she cannot be trusted. I also think that if a person can’t own up their mistakes, then they have a weak character. To lie and to put our fault on someone else’s head is a grave mistake than the one originally committed. It not only causes problems to an innocent person but also takes the chance to correct our mistakes and to make things right. Being honest can be difficult, but in the long run that will give us the true happiness and success in the life.

If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.

Virginia Woolf

It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

Noël Coward

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.

Albert Einstein

Honesty is the first chapter of the book wisdom.

Thomas Jefferson

It takes strength and courage to admit the truth.

Rick Riordan

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.

Abraham Lincoln

Please leave your comments on the topic as I would really love to read them.

When I grow up..

A question which makes us anxious...

My six year old child asked me a question yesterday and it was, “Mama, when I grow up what do you want me to become?” The question was tricky for me. I first told her that whatever she likes, she can and it’s upto her. But she was not ready to leave me until I gave her a proper answer. So, I told her that I want her to become a scientist. She took a minute to think about it and then said, “you know what mama, I want to become a hairdresser because I like to make my dolls prettier” and I said “as you wish, my dear.” The smile and happiness on her face was heavenly.

As a child, I was asked the same question several times by my family members and teachers. Can you imagine how many professions I chose before becoming a nursing professional? I remember when I was a child I wanted to become a police officer. When I grew up a little more and started watching news and current affairs, I wanted to become a lawyer, an advocate for women. Then I wanted to join armed forces which was opposed by my family members. Then I thought I could become a fashion designer as I liked to draw. At last, what I have become is a nurse.

Over the years, I have found that the question “what do you want to become in your life when you grow up?” is more complex than one could imagine. When this question is asked, our mind is shaped in a way from childhood that we should only answer it by giving the name of any profession which the society accepts as a successful one. For example, doctor, engineer, nurse and teacher  are the only professions allowed in most of the Indian families till now. But, do you think that all the doctors, engineers, nurses and teachers are successful and happy in their lives? A surgeon who cannot think properly will not be able to do his surgery under stressful situation and can ultimately cause death of a person. A poor engineer may be the reason for the collapse of a building or a bridge. A bad nurse won’t be able to give a compassionate and quality care to the patients and a teacher can destroy the whole generation of students by poor teaching.

I believe that the question, what should we do in our future, should not make us anxious or nervous instead it should make us happy. It should be a passion, a drive and should motivate us to work hard to achieve our goal. I also believe that all we need in our lives are inner peace and happiness and the rest will come along. So, what we need is a change in our mindset that only certain professions can make us successful and stop feeding our anxiousness regarding the career to our future generations.

I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as ‘making a life’.

Maya Angelou

The crowning fortune of a man is to be born to some pursuit which finds him employment and happiness, whether it be to make baskets, or broadswords, or canals, or statues, or songs.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

Confucius

Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.

Katherine Whitehorn

Be true to what naturally interests you – and be brave enough to turn an obsession into a profession.

Shelly Branch

If we all did the things we are capable of doing,we would literally astound ourselves.

Thomas Edison

Please leave your comments on the topic as I would really love to read them.

Say No To Bullying,Say Yes To Buddying…

Every week, I make sure that I watch a movie with my daughter which has a moral lesson to learn and this time, I chose “Wonder”. It is a feel good movie which teaches us to value and honor the differences in others. Now, why I wanted my daughter to see it is because I wanted to show her how bullying can impact the lives of people involved and why is it necessary to stop it from the beginning.

If you think bullying is only in schools or colleges then you are wrong. It can happen in your workplace or even in a public place in any form (physical, verbal or cyber) and from anyone to anyone, no matter what age, sex, colour or creed. I remember meeting an old aged man. He asked me from where I’m and was it the first time I travelled out of my country and when I replied to his questions, he gave me a remark which I still cannot forget after two years. In his own words, “It must be an eye opener for you then, seeing all the beautiful white faces here.” Considering his age and physical condition, I didn’t give him any response but it did hurt me a lot. That incident is a proof that even in this 21st century, a person can be so narrow minded to even think like this.

Everyone of us must have a story of their own about bullying and how we feel about it. It may have happened only once in the life time but I’m sure that it’s one thing which we cannot forget easily. It can affect us physically, emotionally and mentally and can cause long term consequences such as psychosomatic diseases, low self esteem, suicidal ideation and substance abuse. It can also have a serious effect on the bullied person socially by causing difficulty in the establishment of trusting reciprocal friendships and relationships.

As a solution to this social menace, government has implemented anti bullying laws and schools teach children how to identify and tackle them. But most importantly, I think that the anti bullying campaign should start from the family from an early age. I believe that a child learns what the grown ups practice and not what they preach. So, it is our responsibility to show children to respect others in all their differences, no matter what their looks, color, age, status, religion or nationality are and to love them for their inner qualities. This way, not only the schools and colleges will be safe but also the work places and public places too.

Not all forms of abuse leave bruises.

Danielle Steel

The common mistake that bullies make is assuming that because someone is nice that he or she is weak. Those traits have nothing to do with each other. In fact, it takes considerable strength and character to be a good person.

Mary Elizabeth Williams

Bullying consists of the least competent most aggressive employee projecting their incompetence on to the least aggressive most competent employee and winning.

Tim Field

All cruelty springs from weakness.

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

We all lose when bullying and personal attacks become a substitute for genuine conversation and principled disagreement.

Alicia Garza

This isn’t a high school thing or an age thing. It’s a people thing. People cut other people down out of jealousy, because of something broken inside them, or for no reason at all. Just don’t let them change you or stop you from singing or dancing around to your favorite song.

Taylor Swift

People say sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never hurt you, but that’s not true. Words can hurt. They hurt me. Things were said to me that I still haven’t forgotten.

Demi Lovato

No one heals himself by wounding another.

St. Ambrose

Please post your views on the topic as I would really love to read them.

I Dream To Be Pain Free…

A person who is in chronic pain said that she dreams to be pain free. I never thought that the continues physical strain and mental stress can cause so much pain that a person can’t even walk in her middle age. She is a mother of one beautiful child and a professional who has a permanent job in one of the busiest fields, health care. Now, while on sick leave and on regular medications for pain, she just wants to do her daily activities independently and to do her job without any adjustments or assistance. How painful is that?

I remember reading a quote about pain, but that didn’t strike me then, as it does now.

Some people dream of winning the lottery,

Some people dream of owning a Porsche,

Some people dream of having a holiday home in the sun,


But if you live with pain every day,

You have only one dream

To be pain free….

So, I did some research on living with pain. There are so many interesting tips to cope with pain and to live life to the fullest.

First is to understand and accept the pain. Mental stress will only increase the intensity of pain and thus it is essential to be calm, relaxed and accepting. Using mindfulness to regain control can be helpful.

Second one is pacing. It is one of the key skills to learn and use. It helps us to become more active, stronger and healthier. It’s about when to take a break from an activity before it makes us tired or is too painful to continue and thus to achieve our goals slowly but steadily.

Next important tip is to learn a skill called SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, rewarding and timed) goal setting. It helps us to focus on the important things and also makes us more confident by achieving the goals. Sleep, healthy foods, exercise and mindfulness also plays a significant role in controlling the pain and to live the life at it’s fullest. It is also really important to return to work or to stay in work as it helps to distract our mind from pain and also to keep us active. Don’t forget the pain killers and physical therapy as prescribed by the doctors because it will help to keep us moving.

A message to someone who is in chronic pain

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.

Helen Keller

Please keep me posted about the topic as I really love to read them.