A Regret In My Life…

Have you ever had an incident in your life which has affected you a lot later? Something, which is still fresh in your mind even if it had happened a long time ago. A face that you cannot forget.

I have a story to tell you which has been haunting me since several years. I still remember the day when I was going to church with my mother and my little brother. I think I was twelve or thirteen years old. While walking, I saw a middle aged man, walking towards us. From a distance itself I had a feeling of uneasiness. When he came nearer I gave him a glance and I took my mother’s hand to hold in shock.

You must be thinking that he might have done something. Then, you are wrong. In this story, I’m the villainess. My behavior was totally based on his physical feature, his facial disfigurement. It was like he didn’t have a nose or mouth and those organs were all joined together to appear like a big mass on his face. I had never seen anyone like that before. The way I reacted after I saw him was so rude and unkind that he quickly walked past us bowing his head. But before he did that I saw disappointment and sadness on his face.

That night, I couldn’t sleep because I got scared of him. It didn’t occur to me at that time that I’m the one who had hurt him. Only thing that bothered me was his face. It took a few years and a nursing degree course to make me realize what was the cause for his disfigured face. What I did was so wrong even though it was unintentional.

I still remember his face but the feelings are not the same. Regret has taken the place of fear. That was the first and the last time I saw him. I never got the chance to say sorry to him in person.This post is a confession and I would like to take this chance to say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I was so ignorant and unkind that I behaved like that. I’m sorry that I judged you based on your face without knowing you in person. I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings when I looked away because I wanted to avoid you. I’m deeply sorry for what I have done.” So if you read this, I hope that you do, please take it as an apology from my heart.

The Remorse


I saw a girl down the street,
A toddler who loved a treat,
With an innocent smile she wandered around,
From one place to another as she didn't remember where she was found.
With a plastic carry bag on her hand,
She was following the big girl who was in command,
Picking up the litters to buy some food,
But I'm sure it was no good.
I walked past her in a hurry to get my bus,
Thinking that I would get another chance and no need of a fuss,
Doing the same thing the whole week,
Finally I found sometime for the weak.
Waiting for her with a bag in my hand,
I never thought that I would be so late to understand,
That reaching out to others is never a waste of time,
Now, all I got is a feeling of remorse that I was not there for her on time.
-JMJ