A Regret In My Life…

Have you ever had an incident in your life which has affected you a lot later? Something, which is still fresh in your mind even if it had happened a long time ago. A face that you cannot forget.

I have a story to tell you which has been haunting me since several years. I still remember the day when I was going to church with my mother and my little brother. I think I was twelve or thirteen years old. While walking, I saw a middle aged man, walking towards us. From a distance itself I had a feeling of uneasiness. When he came nearer I gave him a glance and I took my mother’s hand to hold in shock.

You must be thinking that he might have done something. Then, you are wrong. In this story, I’m the villainess. My behavior was totally based on his physical feature, his facial disfigurement. It was like he didn’t have a nose or mouth and those organs were all joined together to appear like a big mass on his face. I had never seen anyone like that before. The way I reacted after I saw him was so rude and unkind that he quickly walked past us bowing his head. But before he did that I saw disappointment and sadness on his face.

That night, I couldn’t sleep because I got scared of him. It didn’t occur to me at that time that I’m the one who had hurt him. Only thing that bothered me was his face. It took a few years and a nursing degree course to make me realize what was the cause for his disfigured face. What I did was so wrong even though it was unintentional.

I still remember his face but the feelings are not the same. Regret has taken the place of fear. That was the first and the last time I saw him. I never got the chance to say sorry to him in person.This post is a confession and I would like to take this chance to say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I was so ignorant and unkind that I behaved like that. I’m sorry that I judged you based on your face without knowing you in person. I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings when I looked away because I wanted to avoid you. I’m deeply sorry for what I have done.” So if you read this, I hope that you do, please take it as an apology from my heart.

You Are Strong…


When the whole world stops,
And there is nothing to hope,
You give your smile,
To convince me that all is well,
Oh baby! You are strong.
When my heart starts to bleed,
And it gets hard for me to breathe,
Then you hug me and kiss me to calm my mind,
I see the resilience in your eyes,
Oh baby! You are strong.
When it gets hard to take another step,
All I see are the walls and there is no way to escape,
You take my hand to go for a walk,
And show me a world beyond those walls,
Oh my baby! You are strong.
-JMJ

The Remorse


I saw a girl down the street,
A toddler who loved a treat,
With an innocent smile she wandered around,
From one place to another as she didn't remember where she was found.
With a plastic carry bag on her hand,
She was following the big girl who was in command,
Picking up the litters to buy some food,
But I'm sure it was no good.
I walked past her in a hurry to get my bus,
Thinking that I would get another chance and no need of a fuss,
Doing the same thing the whole week,
Finally I found sometime for the weak.
Waiting for her with a bag in my hand,
I never thought that I would be so late to understand,
That reaching out to others is never a waste of time,
Now, all I got is a feeling of remorse that I was not there for her on time.
-JMJ

Taken For Granted..

Like a candle she burns for others,
But gets blamed for the death  of a firefly who tests her patience.

Like an ocean she gives lives to others,
But gets cursed for all the drownings who underestimated her and forgot the strength.

Like a raindrop she quenches the thirst of others,
But is defamed for the destructions caused due to the negligence of yours.

How long will you take her for granted?

-JMJ

Cancer

When I first found you,
I thought it's good to have you,
You made me believe that you helped me grow,
And that you are the reason that I glow.
But then as years passed by,
You made your way to each and every cells of mine,
Killing all the normalcy,
There were times that I couldn't even clearly see.
Many years passed and you became a part of me,
Biting my lips I tolerated all the pain you caused to me.
But now, as your toxin is spreading to my brain and affecting the people around me,
It's time to do a surgical incision and do an ectomy.

-JMJ

Embrace to let go..

When sadness surrounds you,

Run to a place to find your solitude if you need to,

Shed your tears as much as you want,

But come back with a smiling heart.

When despair haunts you,

Don’t allow it to break you,

Seek help from someone, to whom you can talk to,

Speak up and find a purpose to live to.

When you feel like you are all alone,

No one you can trust is around,

Take a pen and a diary in your hands,

And write everything to let it out, my friends.

When you feel like you are overwhelmed,

Embrace it to understand,

That the time can heal any wound,

And prepare yourself to let go, my friend.

Please leave your comments on the post as I would really love to read them.

The Panic Attack

She was a lady who knew what she wanted,

And only called nurses when she only doubted,

That she can do an activity by herself,

Or when she thought that can’t talk anymore to self.

One day, she pressed the callbell,

When the nurse saw her, she was panicking like hell,

Worried about something?” the nurse wanted to know,

Please tell me what’s the matter and don’t tell me no.”

She said, “I wasn’t afraid but I have started to fear the death”,

Reassuring her not to worry, the nurse asked, “what made you think about the death?”

“I don’t know, may be I’m just alone in this room. Can you stay here for a minute and talk to me?”,she said

“Why not”, the nurse answered.

A few days passed and she went unconscious,

Her loved ones came as she was on her way to heavens,

When she took her final breath, the same nurse was on duty,

And she saw her lying still with all her beauty.

While giving the last care all the conversations came alive,

Was it panic attack or did she know that she won’t survive?

Please leave your comments on the post as I would really love to read them.

The Conflict

Closing my eyes has become a nightmare,

As I can see you are still there,

In my heart and in my soul,

Struggling with intense emotions, when I never wanted to fall.

Never thought that I would become so helpless,

You are my strength and my weakness,

These feelings are so powerful,

Oh Lord! Should I be grateful,

For this love which is so painful,

And yet, nothing has been so meaningful.

Should I save the sight?

Or shall I blow out the light?

Will my faith survive?

Or is this flame going to burn me alive?

I know all the answers deep inside,

But, how can I show it outside?

How can I calm this conflicted mind?

Please leave your comments on the post as I would really love to read them.

A Fairy Tale

A girl who loved the light,

Sitting all alone in the night,

Had been waiting for her knight,

As she was too kind to take a fight.

When the darkness surrounded her,

She found out that the knight only wanted to be a heir,

The promise he made was just a cold word,

As he wished to fly away like a migrating bird.

A girl who loved the light,

Started to look for a new site,

Where she could be herself without a fright,

So, she travelled a long way to see the light.

She kept herself busy in her new place,

Helping others and making a living for her own space,

It occurred to her that she had to be both humble and bold,

That’s when she found the light right next to her sword.

Her journey didn’t stop in finding her spark,

She knew there are others who lived in the dark,

The girl who loved the light?

Tale is that she became the knight of light.

Please leave your comments on the post as I would really love to read them.

The Volcano

Once there was a beautiful place with lots of trees, plants, animals and birds. A place like heaven where the day started with the blooming flowers and chirping of birds and ended with an amazing view of sunset and the nights were so serene. A volcano too lived among them. She loved to see lives around her and was proud of the place where she was situated.

One day, the volcano was tagged as an extinct one as she had not erupted for a long time and scientists could not find any activity within her. So, people started to come to this beautiful place to see the volcano as well as to make some business out of it. Many of them who came, were not that gentle towards her or to the place which she loved. They exploited it so much that place started to ruin it’s beauty. As people thought that the volcano was extinct, they used to go nearer to her and threw stones at her. People love to tease and attack something which they think that can’t react, don’t they? It continued for a long time and what happened was unexplainable. The volcano erupted with a maximum intensity and she started to spit fire balls along with the lava and poisonous gas. The whole place was turned to ash and the lava engulfed everything, people, animals, birds, trees and plants. Nothing survived.

Now, the volcano was tagged as active. People were afraid not even to go nearer to volcano but to the place. She waited patiently because she knew that the place will be beautiful and she will be happy. After a few years, she was proud of the place again where she was situated and she lied dormant once again watching the beautiful sight around her hoping that she won’t be tagged as extinct again.

I have tried to make my point using a parable here. I hope that you will like it. Please leave your comments on the topic as I would really love to read them.