Tag: #pain

The Egg And The Enemy

~ Joyce Mary J ~ 17 Comments

She saw herself in a castle surrounded by all the courtiers. In the mirror, which was placed right in the centre of her bedroom, she found out that she was the princess. They asked her to leave the place as it was too risky to stay there. It was a fight or flight situation and she was a fighter. She would never leave anyone behind.

Knowing her very well, one of her advisor handed her an egg. She gave him a perplexed look. What was this all about? He told her that the enemies had already reached the gate and she should protect that egg from any harm. That was her duty towards the kingdom.

So,she ran as fast as she could keeping that egg safely in one hand and holding the sword in another. While running, she developed an attachment towards that egg as if it was something which belonged to her. It gave her a purpose to live and fight with the enemies with all her courage and strength.

In that dark night, where the moon also forgot to show herself, princess ran towards the battlement to reach the tower. She tripped on something and the egg fell from her hand. She screamed out of fear and pain. While falling from the height, the egg cracked and she saw a beautiful baby. A human baby from an egg!!!

It was quarter to four in the morning. When I had woken up from the sleep all panicked and worried, I found myself all wet in my sweat after a terrible fight in the dream. Correction… Nightmare!

I still don’t understand why on the earth I was protecting an egg and why would a human baby hatch from it!! Any explanation or suggestions are welcomed.

Please leave your comments on the post as I would really love to read them.

The Diary Of The Leaves

~ Joyce Mary J ~ 21 Comments
The Diary Of The Leaves (This picture was taken a year back) – JMJ
Fallen leaves lying down in disgrace,
While waiting to be crumbled and crushed by others,
They feel the ground, so cold and dead,
And see the grey sky with no ray of hope.
They remember the spring when they were new and fresh,
So beautiful, green and tender,
They were the best companions of the tree whom they adored,
And shared everything with each other so that they could grow.



Then came the summer where they loved to give shelter,
To everyone who came to them from the scorching sun,
Or from the downpour in June,
Their compassion and care helped others to live, love and breed.
In autumn, they brought colors into life,
 The trees adorned them like precious ornaments,
Enjoying everyone's attention and praise,
They were at their peak.
Then, they started to fall,
Some even didn't try,
But others gave a fight with the wind,
Not willing to let go off that tiny little connection with their mate.



Lying on the ground they can see the bare tree, their old companion,
The squirrels, birds and the insects to whom they gave shelters to,
And the people who found shade under them too.
So now, they are waiting for winter eagerly,
To cover themselves with snow,
To erase all the memories,
To forget and to be forgotten.
-JMJ


A Regret In My Life…

~ Joyce Mary J ~ 16 Comments

Have you ever had an incident in your life which has affected you a lot later? Something, which is still fresh in your mind even if it had happened a long time ago. A face that you cannot forget.

I have a story to tell you which has been haunting me since several years. I still remember the day when I was going to church with my mother and my little brother. I think I was twelve or thirteen years old. While walking, I saw a middle aged man, walking towards us. From a distance itself I had a feeling of uneasiness. When he came nearer I gave him a glance and I took my mother’s hand to hold in shock.

You must be thinking that he might have done something. Then, you are wrong. In this story, I’m the villainess. My behavior was totally based on his physical feature, his facial disfigurement. It was like he didn’t have a nose or mouth and those organs were all joined together to appear like a big mass on his face. I had never seen anyone like that before. The way I reacted after I saw him was so rude and unkind that he quickly walked past us bowing his head. But before he did that I saw disappointment and sadness on his face.

That night, I couldn’t sleep because I got scared of him. It didn’t occur to me at that time that I’m the one who had hurt him. Only thing that bothered me was his face. It took a few years and a nursing degree course to make me realize what was the cause for his disfigured face. What I did was so wrong even though it was unintentional.

I still remember his face but the feelings are not the same. Regret has taken the place of fear. That was the first and the last time I saw him. I never got the chance to say sorry to him in person.This post is a confession and I would like to take this chance to say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I was so ignorant and unkind that I behaved like that. I’m sorry that I judged you based on your face without knowing you in person. I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings when I looked away because I wanted to avoid you. I’m deeply sorry for what I have done.” So if you read this, I hope that you do, please take it as an apology from my heart.

You Are Strong…

~ Joyce Mary J ~ 17 Comments 

When the whole world stops,
And there is nothing to hope,
You give your smile,
To convince me that all is well,
Oh baby! You are strong.
When my heart starts to bleed,
And it gets hard for me to breathe,
Then you hug me and kiss me to calm my mind,
I see the resilience in your eyes,
Oh baby! You are strong.
When it gets hard to take another step,
All I see are the walls and there is no way to escape,
You take my hand to go for a walk,
And show me a world beyond those walls,
Oh my baby! You are strong.
                   -JMJ

The Remorse

~ Joyce Mary J ~ 26 Comments 

I saw a girl down the street,
A toddler who loved a treat,
With an innocent smile she wandered around,
From one place to another as she didn't remember where she was found.
With a plastic carry bag on her hand,
She was following the big girl who was in command,
Picking up the litters to buy some food,
But I'm sure it was no good.
I walked past her in a hurry to get my bus,
Thinking that I would get another chance and no need of a fuss,
Doing the same thing the whole week,
Finally I found sometime for the weak.
Waiting for her with a bag in my hand,
I never thought that I would be so late to understand,
That reaching out to others is never a waste of time,
Now, all I got is a feeling of remorse that I was not there for her on time.
                     -JMJ

Taken For Granted..

~ Joyce Mary J ~ 18 Comments 
Like a candle she burns for others,
But gets blamed for the death  of a firefly who tests her patience.

Like an ocean she gives lives to others,
But gets cursed for all the drownings who underestimated her and forgot the strength.

Like a raindrop she quenches the thirst of others,
But is defamed for the destructions caused due to the negligence of yours.

How long will you take her for granted?

                    -JMJ

Cancer

~ Joyce Mary J ~ 18 Comments 
When I first found you,
I thought it's good to have you,
You made me believe that you helped me grow,
And that you are the reason that I glow.
But then as years passed by,
You made your way to each and every cells of mine,
Killing all the normalcy,
There were times that I couldn't even clearly see.
Many years passed and you became a part of me,
Biting my lips I tolerated all the pain you caused to me.
But now, as your toxin is spreading to my brain and affecting the people around me,
It's time to do a surgical incision and do an ectomy.
               
                    -JMJ

Embrace to let go..

~ Joyce Mary J ~ 17 Comments

When sadness surrounds you,

Run to a place to find your solitude if you need to,

Shed your tears as much as you want,

But come back with a smiling heart.

When despair haunts you,

Don’t allow it to break you,

Seek help from someone, to whom you can talk to,

Speak up and find a purpose to live to.

When you feel like you are all alone,

No one you can trust is around,

Take a pen and a diary in your hands,

And write everything to let it out, my friends.

When you feel like you are overwhelmed,

Embrace it to understand,

That the time can heal any wound,

And prepare yourself to let go, my friend.

Please leave your comments on the post as I would really love to read them.

The Panic Attack

~ Joyce Mary J ~ 21 Comments

She was a lady who knew what she wanted,

And only called nurses when she only doubted,

That she can do an activity by herself,

Or when she thought that can’t talk anymore to self.

One day, she pressed the callbell,

When the nurse saw her, she was panicking like hell,

“Worried about something?” the nurse wanted to know,

“Please tell me what’s the matter and don’t tell me no.”

She said, “I wasn’t afraid but I have started to fear the death”,

Reassuring her not to worry, the nurse asked, “what made you think about the death?”

“I don’t know, may be I’m just alone in this room. Can you stay here for a minute and talk to me?”,she said

“Why not”, the nurse answered.

A few days passed and she went unconscious,

Her loved ones came as she was on her way to heavens,

When she took her final breath, the same nurse was on duty,

And she saw her lying still with all her beauty.

While giving the last care all the conversations came alive,

Was it panic attack or did she know that she won’t survive?

Please leave your comments on the post as I would really love to read them.

The Conflict

~ Joyce Mary J ~ 23 Comments 


Closing my eyes has become a nightmare,
As I can see you are still there,
In my heart and in my soul, 
Struggling with intense emotions, when I never wanted to fall.
Never thought that I would become so helpless,
You are my strength and my weakness,
These feelings are so powerful,
Oh Lord! Should I be grateful,
For this love which is so painful,
And yet, nothing has been so meaningful.
Should I save the sight?
Or shall I blow out the light?
Will my faith survive?
Or is this flame going to burn me alive?
I know all the answers deep inside,
But, how can I show it outside?
How can I calm this conflicted mind?
- JMJ

Please leave your comments on the post as I would really love to read them.