What takes a heart to be at rest, To not to think of all the days which were the worst. What takes a mind not to wander to, All the way back which were never meant to. However I try, I can't call them back, It's like they have been taken from someone in the past. Haunting memories of an innocent smile, Blue eyes with an ocean inside, The days were so wonderful with you on my side, All those pictures are talking to me and tearing me from inside. When all mothers are celebrating the day with their children by their side, All I can hope is you are at rest with no pain to cry, Oh my baby! I hope you are having a good time with God by your side. -JMJ
Dedicated to all the mothers who lost their children.
Please leave your comments on the topic as I would really love to read them.What takes a heart to be at rest,
So how's this, this mask? Do I look pretty? Do I look smart? Tell me, what is my role today? Should I just keep my eyes dry or should I also wear a smile? All those bruises can be made unseen, With a make up and no one will ever be keen, To question how fake is the smile, Or am I living a lie?
An abuser lives in all of us, Some find happiness in other's tears, Beating up, mocking up and blocking everything what is dear, Others like to turn a blind eye making me to wish that the death is near, Never reach out but love to give a long sigh, All I want is someone to sit beside, No need to talk, just hold my hands tight, It's another day as I can see the light, I should be ready for the people outside, So tell me, how's this, this mask? Do I look pretty? Do I look smart? -JMJ
Dedicated to the victims ofall kinds of abuse who manage to wear a mask everyday and pretend to be okay.
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The year of 2020 and 2021 made us to realize the importance of touch with several other things which we took as for granted. Human touch is so essential in our lives and we learned that in a hard way. When we had the freedom to go out and to have a life with our family and friends, most of us were living a life in front of our phones, laptops or television. We ignored that there were people around us whose life can be changed by a touch of us and above all, we never thought that we needed them too.
I’m not a touch or hug person. But I started to crave for my daughter’s hugs and kisses when I had to stay away from her. It made me realize how important it was for me and how sad I can be if I’m deprived of it. I still remember the days, when I used to come back from work and there was no way I could go nearer to her. My daughter with all her innocence, once, came behind me and touched my clothes. She just wanted to feel her mother and I did cry a lot on that day because I felt helpless as a mother.
There are so many scientific evidences on the advantages of a touch.
First of all, when we touch a person, oxytocin is released which is known as ‘the feel good hormone’ in our body. Thus, it helps in building positive thoughts and optimism and thereby creating trust in social situations.
Touch helps in reducing anxiety and stress. It increases the levels of Dopamine and Serotonin which helps to regulate our mood and thereby decreasing the negative emotions.
Touch is also known to increase the efficiency of our immune system and also in lowering the blood pressure. It helps in reducing the diseases related to heart and blood.
In my language there is a saying that only when we lose our eyesight we know the importance of eyes. It’s only when I was not allowed to hug my daughter due to the coronavirus, I knew how much it was important to me. How relaxing and calming her hugs are!
Touch has a memory.
We are not people who touch each other carelessly; every point of contact between us feels important, a rush of energy and relief.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
Leo F. Buscaglia
You will live in the future as an extension of the lives that you have touched. Therefore, you may wish to consider how you’re touching people.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
There’s power in the touch of another person’s hand….Hands that wrap us in warmth, that hold us close. Hands that guide us to shelter, to comfort, to food. Hands that hold and touch and reassure us through our very first crisis, and guide us into our very first shelter from pain. The first thing we ever learn is that the touch of someone’s hand can ease pain and make things better. That’s power. That’s power so fundamental that most people never even realize it exists.
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Is silence so meaningless? As I can see only words can be defined. Is silence so powerless? As only words are ruling everyone under the sky. Even with all it's purity and truth, The silence can only rely on it's silent cry. However unfaithful and cunning they are, The words are having their own very best times. Do not worry, Oh my friend, As God knows you are humble and kind. It may seem to them that you are empty and barren, But the time will reveal that you are the finest wine. -JMJ
I promise you! Is it just one of those regular sentences that we speak or the faith and hope that we give to someone?
First story… I was on my leave a few days ago when my daughter came to ask to play with her. I was busy doing some housework so I asked her to tidy up her room. She agreed to do it but made me to do a pinky promise that I would play with her after that. After tidying up her room, she came to me and asked, “Can we play now?” and I said yes. She was jumping with excitement and joy. I could see in her eyes how happy she was that I kept my promise.
Second story… an old woman of about 83 years was admitted in the hospital. She was promised by the doctors that she could be discharged on the day. The day passed but she wasn’t discharged from the hospital as they had to do few more tests. On the second day, the doctors promised the same but nothing happened. She was sad but she waited for the next day so that she could go back to her nursing home where she loves to live with her friends. The third day’s promise and the same experience made her so angry, anxious and worried that she said why wouldn’t they say me anything if they already knew the rules and protocols before I go to my nursing home. She called her son and started crying. I had to talk to her son and clarify the matter with him but as expected he wasn’t happy. He told me that he was really disappointed on the matter that his mother was promised three days in a row that she was going to be discharged which never happened and it made her so uncomfortable and nervous.
Another one…a friend of mine told a story about a family. A man everyday promises his wife of 15 years that he would stop drinking alcohol. His wife gives him chances after chances but she doesn’t find any changes in him or in his behavior after taking alcohol. Years of physical and mental abuse makes her depressed and everytime he drinks she asks only one thing, “why can’t you keep just one promise so that we can live like a family? Why wouldn’t you take an effort to stop it as you promise me everyday?” She carries on to do her role as a mother to her two children because she loves them a lot but is completely detached from her husband as she has lost all her hope. She is now living a miserable life.
All of the above stories shows the significance of promises that we make and how we keep them. A promise gives hope to people. It makes the people to believe in other person and to have faith in them. No matter the age of the person, from a small child to an elderly person, a broken promise can break the trust on the person who made the promise and also can cause disappointment and sadness. So, before we say “I promise you!” it is really essential to think whether we can make that happen or not. If not, do not make promises because you do not break a promise instead you break a heart.
A promise made is a debt unpaid.
Promises are like the full moon, if they are not kept at once they diminish day by day.
Promises may fit the friends, but non-performance will turn them into enemies.
Breach of promise is a base surrender of truth.
Broken vows are like broken mirrors. They leave those who held to them bleeding and staring at fractured images of themselves.
Richard Paul Evans
I believe in the sacredness of a promise, that a man’s word should be as good as his bond; that character, not wealth or power or position, is of supreme worth.
It’s not what a person tells you that matters. It’s how they treat you that reveals their true feelings. Their character is revealed not by the promises they make, but by the promises they keep.
Promise is a big word. It either makes something or it breaks something.
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“Am I enough?”, it’s a question that I have asked myself several times on several occasions. If I’m not wrong most of us must have felt the same at least once in our lives. It’s a feeling of not being complete or not worthy enough for someone or something. Do you think that it is natural to feel not good enough?
What is being enough? Is it being physically healthy? Or being intelligent? Or famous? Or beautiful? Does our value as a human being depends on these external qualities which others can see? Or is it anything to do with us as an individual, as a person?
As I said earlier, this question has popped up into my mind several times. When I was going to sit for an entrance exam, when I got a job, when I got promoted, when I was getting married and when I gave birth to my child, every single time I started onto something new or fresh, I had doubted myself. I knew that it was not healthy but I couldn’t help myself there.
Being enough is a state of mind. It doesn’t depends on how our body is, how intelligent we are or how important in the society are we. It’s about trusting on ourselves, to be grateful for our lives, abilities and talents, to forgive ourselves for the mistakes that we had done and to carry on. It’s not about waiting for someone to make us whole because we already are complete and that’s how God has created us. It doesn’t depends on our age, sex, physical and mental ability or disability, color, social status, caste, religion or race. I don’t deny on the fact that we are social animals but to have someone in our lives who loves and respects us should be an addition and not a substitute. To make ourselves acceptable in the society, we don’t have to punish ourselves. There is no point in the sense of belonging with others if I don’t belong to myself.
In short, I learned that it’s really essential to know our worth because we all are complete by ourselves. If we would all know our value, there will be no place for insecurity, low self-esteem, low integrity, jealousy or rivalry and the world would be a better place.
Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.
Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look.
It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.
You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.
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Every week, I make sure that I watch a movie with my daughter which has a moral lesson to learn and this time, I chose “Wonder”. It is a feel good movie which teaches us to value and honor the differences in others. Now, why I wanted my daughter to see it is because I wanted to show her how bullying can impact the lives of people involved and why is it necessary to stop it from the beginning.
If you think bullying is only in schools or colleges then you are wrong. It can happen in your workplace or even in a public place in any form (physical, verbal or cyber) and from anyone to anyone, no matter what age, sex, colour or creed. I remember meeting an old aged man. He asked me from where I’m and was it the first time I travelled out of my country and when I replied to his questions, he gave me a remark which I still cannot forget after two years. In his own words, “It must be an eye opener for you then, seeing all the beautiful white faces here.” Considering his age and physical condition, I didn’t give him any response but it did hurt me a lot. That incident is a proof that even in this 21st century, a person can be so narrow minded to even think like this.
Everyone of us must have a story of their own about bullying and how we feel about it. It may have happened only once in the life time but I’m sure that it’s one thing which we cannot forget easily. It can affect us physically, emotionally and mentally and can cause long term consequences such as psychosomatic diseases, low self esteem, suicidal ideation and substance abuse. It can also have a serious effect on the bullied person socially by causing difficulty in the establishment of trusting reciprocal friendships and relationships.
As a solution to this social menace, government has implemented anti bullying laws and schools teach children how to identify and tackle them. But most importantly, I think that the anti bullying campaign should start from the family from an early age. I believe that a child learns what the grown ups practice and not what they preach. So, it is our responsibility to show children to respect others in all their differences, no matter what their looks, color, age, status, religion or nationality are and to love them for their inner qualities. This way, not only the schools and colleges will be safe but also the work places and public places too.
Not all forms of abuse leave bruises.
The common mistake that bullies make is assuming that because someone is nice that he or she is weak. Those traits have nothing to do with each other. In fact, it takes considerable strength and character to be a good person.
Mary Elizabeth Williams
Bullying consists of the least competent most aggressive employee projecting their incompetence on to the least aggressive most competent employee and winning.
All cruelty springs from weakness.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
We all lose when bullying and personal attacks become a substitute for genuine conversation and principled disagreement.
This isn’t a high school thing or an age thing. It’s a people thing. People cut other people down out of jealousy, because of something broken inside them, or for no reason at all. Just don’t let them change you or stop you from singing or dancing around to your favorite song.
People say sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never hurt you, but that’s not true. Words can hurt. They hurt me. Things were said to me that I still haven’t forgotten.
No one heals himself by wounding another.
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