Cancer

When I first found you,
I thought it's good to have you,
You made me believe that you helped me grow,
And that you are the reason that I glow.
But then as years passed by,
You made your way to each and every cells of mine,
Killing all the normalcy,
There were times that I couldn't even clearly see.
Many years passed and you became a part of me,
Biting my lips I tolerated all the pain you caused to me.
But now, as your toxin is spreading to my brain and affecting the people around me,
It's time to do a surgical incision and do an ectomy.

-JMJ

Embrace to let go..

When sadness surrounds you,

Run to a place to find your solitude if you need to,

Shed your tears as much as you want,

But come back with a smiling heart.

When despair haunts you,

Don’t allow it to break you,

Seek help from someone, to whom you can talk to,

Speak up and find a purpose to live to.

When you feel like you are all alone,

No one you can trust is around,

Take a pen and a diary in your hands,

And write everything to let it out, my friends.

When you feel like you are overwhelmed,

Embrace it to understand,

That the time can heal any wound,

And prepare yourself to let go, my friend.

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The Touch

The year of 2020 and 2021 made us to realize the importance of touch with several other things which we took as for granted. Human touch is so essential in our lives and we learned that in a hard way. When we had the freedom to go out and to have a life with our family and friends, most of us were living a life in front of our phones, laptops or television. We ignored that there were people around us whose life can be changed by a touch of us and above all, we never thought that we needed them too.

I’m not a touch or hug person. But I started to crave for my daughter’s hugs and kisses when I had to stay away from her. It made me realize how important it was for me and how sad I can be if I’m deprived of it. I still remember the days, when I used to come back from work and there was no way I could go nearer to her. My daughter with all her innocence, once, came behind me and touched my clothes. She just wanted to feel her mother and I did cry a lot on that day because I felt helpless as a mother.

There are so many scientific evidences on the advantages of a touch.

First of all, when we touch a person, oxytocin is released which is known as ‘the feel good hormone’ in our body. Thus, it helps in building positive thoughts and optimism and thereby creating trust in social situations.

Touch helps in reducing anxiety and stress. It increases the levels of Dopamine and Serotonin which helps to regulate our mood and thereby decreasing the negative emotions.

Touch is also known to increase the efficiency of our immune system and also in lowering the blood pressure. It helps in reducing the diseases related to heart and blood.

In my language there is a saying that only when we lose our eyesight we know the importance of eyes. It’s only when I was not allowed to hug my daughter due to the coronavirus, I knew how much it was important to me. How relaxing and calming her hugs are!

Touch has a memory.

John Keats

We are not people who touch each other carelessly; every point of contact between us feels important, a rush of energy and relief.

Veronica Roth

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a
listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all
of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Leo F. Buscaglia

You will live in the future as an extension of the lives that you have touched. Therefore, you may wish to consider how you’re touching people.

Craig D. Lounsbrough

There’s power in the touch of another person’s hand….Hands that wrap us in warmth, that hold us close. Hands that guide us to shelter, to comfort, to food. Hands that hold and touch and reassure us through our very first crisis, and guide us into our very first shelter from pain. The first thing we ever learn is that the touch of someone’s hand can ease pain and make things better.
That’s power. That’s power so fundamental that most people never even realize it exists.

Jim Butcher

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When I grow up..

A question which makes us anxious...

My six year old child asked me a question yesterday and it was, “Mama, when I grow up what do you want me to become?” The question was tricky for me. I first told her that whatever she likes, she can and it’s upto her. But she was not ready to leave me until I gave her a proper answer. So, I told her that I want her to become a scientist. She took a minute to think about it and then said, “you know what mama, I want to become a hairdresser because I like to make my dolls prettier” and I said “as you wish, my dear.” The smile and happiness on her face was heavenly.

As a child, I was asked the same question several times by my family members and teachers. Can you imagine how many professions I chose before becoming a nursing professional? I remember when I was a child I wanted to become a police officer. When I grew up a little more and started watching news and current affairs, I wanted to become a lawyer, an advocate for women. Then I wanted to join armed forces which was opposed by my family members. Then I thought I could become a fashion designer as I liked to draw. At last, what I have become is a nurse.

Over the years, I have found that the question “what do you want to become in your life when you grow up?” is more complex than one could imagine. When this question is asked, our mind is shaped in a way from childhood that we should only answer it by giving the name of any profession which the society accepts as a successful one. For example, doctor, engineer, nurse and teacher  are the only professions allowed in most of the Indian families till now. But, do you think that all the doctors, engineers, nurses and teachers are successful and happy in their lives? A surgeon who cannot think properly will not be able to do his surgery under stressful situation and can ultimately cause death of a person. A poor engineer may be the reason for the collapse of a building or a bridge. A bad nurse won’t be able to give a compassionate and quality care to the patients and a teacher can destroy the whole generation of students by poor teaching.

I believe that the question, what should we do in our future, should not make us anxious or nervous instead it should make us happy. It should be a passion, a drive and should motivate us to work hard to achieve our goal. I also believe that all we need in our lives are inner peace and happiness and the rest will come along. So, what we need is a change in our mindset that only certain professions can make us successful and stop feeding our anxiousness regarding the career to our future generations.

I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as ‘making a life’.

Maya Angelou

The crowning fortune of a man is to be born to some pursuit which finds him employment and happiness, whether it be to make baskets, or broadswords, or canals, or statues, or songs.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

Confucius

Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.

Katherine Whitehorn

Be true to what naturally interests you – and be brave enough to turn an obsession into a profession.

Shelly Branch

If we all did the things we are capable of doing,we would literally astound ourselves.

Thomas Edison

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My Mind-blowing Mind

My mind is a very good traveller. It goes for a journey of it’s own regardless of the time, space and place. Sometimes, it may cause embarrassment. Recently, I was on my shift and my colleagues were talking to each other (fortunately, we had an easy shift on that day). As it was not busy, I thought I would check my work emails. After sometime I could hear them call my name. When I looked at them, they asked me, “Where were you? Were you spacing out?” They told me that they had been trying to talk to me since about a minute but I was somewhere else. To be honest, I didn’t hear anything they said to me even though they were just standing a foot away. They were right, physically I was there but my mind was wandering somewhere. Does your mind travels a lot? Does it goes to other places and time that you forget your surroundings?

Personally, I love to travel a lot. I had dreamed about going for a world tour in a cruise ever since I read the story ‘Around the world in 80 days’ during my school days. It would be so much fun to go to different countries, to meet different people and to understand their culture, tradition and lifestyle. Also, I always wonder what if we have a time machine. We can go to different times, both past and future. Anyway, my mind is doing that job instead. Don’t worry, I’m not out of my mind. It doesn’t do that when I’m occupied with my work or with other serious matters. But, when it does, it just goes from one place to another and somehow, I find it relaxing and refreshing.

The incident said above, made me so curious that I did some research on mind travel. While researching, I found out that scientists have given it the name as Mental Time Travel or Chronosthesia. The term was coined by Endel Tulving in 1985, and is defined as the mental capacity of a person to reconstruct personal events from the past and to imagine possible scenarios in the future. He said that it is acquired by humans through evolution and it constantly allows us to be aware of the past and the future. Scientists are still studying on the subject but they are pretty sure that mental time travel affects the decisions we make. Anyway, let them study on the topic, meanwhile, I’m going to enjoy my mind travel.

Mental time-travel is one of the greatest gifts of the mind. It makes us human, and it makes us special.

Claudia Hammond

Not all those who wander are lost.

J.R.R. Tolkien

The farther I travel, the closer I am to myself.

Andrew McCarthy

Only one who wanders finds new paths.

Norwegian proverb

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I Dream To Be Pain Free…

A person who is in chronic pain said that she dreams to be pain free. I never thought that the continues physical strain and mental stress can cause so much pain that a person can’t even walk in her middle age. She is a mother of one beautiful child and a professional who has a permanent job in one of the busiest fields, health care. Now, while on sick leave and on regular medications for pain, she just wants to do her daily activities independently and to do her job without any adjustments or assistance. How painful is that?

I remember reading a quote about pain, but that didn’t strike me then, as it does now.

Some people dream of winning the lottery,

Some people dream of owning a Porsche,

Some people dream of having a holiday home in the sun,


But if you live with pain every day,

You have only one dream

To be pain free….

So, I did some research on living with pain. There are so many interesting tips to cope with pain and to live life to the fullest.

First is to understand and accept the pain. Mental stress will only increase the intensity of pain and thus it is essential to be calm, relaxed and accepting. Using mindfulness to regain control can be helpful.

Second one is pacing. It is one of the key skills to learn and use. It helps us to become more active, stronger and healthier. It’s about when to take a break from an activity before it makes us tired or is too painful to continue and thus to achieve our goals slowly but steadily.

Next important tip is to learn a skill called SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, rewarding and timed) goal setting. It helps us to focus on the important things and also makes us more confident by achieving the goals. Sleep, healthy foods, exercise and mindfulness also plays a significant role in controlling the pain and to live the life at it’s fullest. It is also really important to return to work or to stay in work as it helps to distract our mind from pain and also to keep us active. Don’t forget the pain killers and physical therapy as prescribed by the doctors because it will help to keep us moving.

A message to someone who is in chronic pain

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.

Helen Keller

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The Sword Of Damocles!

In general, people love to have a fairy tale life. The “happily ever after” ones, where there is no sorrow, disappointment or frustration. The kind where one is only loved and trusted and where one can believe another with their lives. We tend to fancy on other’s lives which seem perfect for our eyes. The grass is always greener on the other side, isn’t it?

Damocles was a courtier in the court of Dionysius II of Syracuse, a ruler in Sicily. The ancient moral parable explains how Damocles was attracted to the throne and the luxuries which came with it and how simply Dionysius gave him a life lesson. The throne which had a double edged sword hanging above with a single hair of the horse’s tail was offered to Damocles for one day. Damocles jumped on the offer and then only he could find the dangers of being the ruler and the anxieties and the fear which came along with it. So, what is the moral of the story?

The Sword Of Damocles

Everyone has their own sword hanging above and no one’s life is perfect. A millionaire who has all the luxuries of the earth would be lonely and depressed whereas a poor man could have a lovely family and friends who love and care about him. So, wishing to have another’s life is a great mistake. We don’t know of what they are suffering from. Instead, what should we actually do is to be grateful for the life which we have and to create a positive environment for us and for others.

Another lesson that we can learn from this story is that we cannot enjoy our life if we have fear inside our heart. The fear of criticism, fear of failing, fear of not being good enough, fear of getting the disease and fear of death are just a few examples that most of us are afraid of. In order to live a happy life make sure to get rid of all the fears and live in the moment. Celebrate the little things in your life because ultimately they are the most important ones.

In conclusion, I think that it is essential to be grateful for the life which we got and to find happiness in the moments. At last, those simple moments are the most valuable treasures in our lives.

Kindly share your thoughts on the same as I really love to read them all.

Expecting The Unexpected

This topic is very relevant for the current situation of our lives. We never expected that an invisible enemy can turn the world upside down. A virus, so little can make us to stay inside our house with our nose and mouth covered and change the whole lifestyle. Even with the modern science and technology in our hands, we feel helpless sometimes. So much for an unexpected event, isn’t it?

"To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect."- Oscar Wilde

In our lives, we can always expect the unexpected things to happen. It can be in the form of lifetime opportunities or life-changing events. Something positive which can uplift our lives or something so disastrous that may shake and tore us down. But what is important is to be prepared. A good captain always makes sure that he has a plan A for the expected things and a plan B for the unexpected events.

Being a nurse, my mind is automatically trained to expect the unexpected. Well, we are dealing with human lives in the hospital and we never know what will happen in the next second. It’s so uncertain!! On the spur of the moment, everything changes for good and whatever we do doesn’t matter. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t try the next time when something like that happens again. In fact, we try harder to make things right, learn our lessons from the past incidents and act accordingly to get a positive outcome.

By expecting the unexpected, we make sure that we keep our hopes up but we are also prepared for the unfortunate events. Like a good soldier, be diligent to accomplish the life’s tasks but also watch your back to hinder sudden death and to lose the battle as a consequence.

Please keep posting your views on the topic because I really love to read your opinions.

To Be Or Not To Be

“To be or not to be” , a quote from William Shakespeare’s Hamlet is very popular where Hamlet questions the pros and cons to live or to die. It’s really tragic when someone has to even think about that. It’s about weighing your current situation and choosing which one you want – life or death.

Life has given us so many opportunities. It shows us the wonderful feelings of love and being loved, a smile of someone special, to trust and to be trusted and joy of togetherness. It also blesses us with health and talent. So, do we really have to give up on life when something doesn’t work for some reason? No, I don’t think so. And what does death give us? If we believe in scriptures then it does says heaven and hell. But they never agree on taking own life to attain that.

I met a woman who is ill but can do all her daily activities independently. She has a great family to support her and who really care about her. But the sickness and the fear of coronavirus made her to think that it’s better to inject and kill herself rather than to live. She doesn’t have covid-19 but she is afraid that what if she gets it and how is she going to survive it. So what was it, fear of death or afraid to live when things are worse? One can only assume here, right?

I think we all have the right to be happy in our lives but we also should take our bad days with a good attitude. Nothing is permanent and change is imminent. The most amazing fact about life is that it never fails to give surprises. So keep your arms wide open and be ready to receive your gifts because that’s what makes us alive. The joy, excitement, disappoinment and pain makes this life whole. So, it always should “to be” and never “not to be”.

Kindly give your opinions on the same as I would like to know what you think about it.