Dowry – A bid for a happy marriage or even life

Dowry, a menace which is considered as an insurance for a happy married life of a woman. Sometimes, her life can be at stake if her husband or in-laws think that the dowry that they have got is not enough or not upto their status. So, why am I writing on this today?

Case 1

A final year BAMS student died in her in-laws’ house. Her parents claimed that they had given a Toyota Yaris car, 100 sovereigns of gold and more than an acre of land, as ‘gifts’ at the time of her wedding last year. But it was not enough for her husband, an Assistant Motor Vehicle Inspector as he felt that the car was not upto his status. So he used to abuse her both physically and mentally which made her to kill herself.

Case 2

A 24-year-old died after she was set ablaze, by her husband, an year after their marriage and repeated demands and torture for more dowry. He came to his wife’s parents house to take her back. He had a bottle of diesel with him which he said was to control termites. When they reached his house that poor woman was set on fire with the same bottle of diesel.

Case 3

A 25-year-old died last year after she was bitten by a snake in her bedroom which was on the first floor of the house. This was the second time she was bitten by a poisonous snake in two months, inside the house. At the time of their wedding her husband was given a huge amount of money, lots of gold and even a car. But, it wasn’t enough for him. After her family started talking about divorce, he was afraid that he would have to give all the dowry back. So he bought two poisonous snakes and left them on his wife while she was asleep. A well – planned murder, isn’t it?

The above said are three recent cases happened one after another in a state which claims to have a 100% of literacy rate in India. So, what’s happening? Where is this all education going? Where are we going as human beings? Does a woman’s life depends on how much money or financial assets she brings to her husband? Do we still have to keep doing this crime in the name of culture and traditions? Why can’t a girl and her parents say no to the marriage itself when the question of dowry comes in first place?

Only answer to this question is to stop thinking a girl child as a burden and to stop preparing her for a married life from the day she is born. For example, I was cooking one day a few years back when an old lady comes to the house and says very lovingly to my daughter to start learning how to cook. When I asked why, her answer was that she has to make her husband and his family happy. Seriously! She was only two years old at that time.

It is also really significant to give proper education to our daughters and to make them financially independent. We will have to make her brave enough to stand up for herself and to make important decisions about her life. A good education and a job will help her not to rely on others in terms of finance and thus making her self sufficient.

I have always been against dowry and I will be fighting against it till the end of my life. It’s not only because I have a daughter and I would like to give her a better place to live, but also, because it’s the right thing to do.

Please leave your comments on the topic as I would really love to read them.

Orphans

What did I do as it breaks my heart,

There is no one here to care me from the start.

What did I do to be so lonely?

Is there anyone here as I look for one tirelessly?

One said that his mother left him as a baby,

The other said that her parents didn’t want her, may be.

One blamed God for the accident,

Some didn’t know what had happened.

But all of them shared the same feelings,

And started to count on their blessings.

They looked after each other while growing up,

And promised one another that they will show up,

No matter how far they are by distance,

They will make sure to be there like a family, for instance.

Their love grew to their families too,

Bringing up their own children, one or two.

Dedicated to all the children around the world who live their lives as orphans.

Please leave your comments on the post as I would really love to read them.

Spring on it’s full swing

When nature is at it’s best, all we can do is admire it’s beauty and be grateful for all the blessings of God..

Can’t take another step…
Flower shower
A meeting with the clouds
Rejuvenation
A view from my window

All these pictures were taken today while having a walk with my daughter on my phone. These views gave me so much joy and relaxation that I cannot explain. I hope that you will like them too.

A Forgotten Mother

What takes a heart to be at rest,

To not to think of all the days which were the worst.

What takes a mind not to wander to,

All the way back which were never meant to.

However I try, I can’t call them back,

It’s like they have been taken from someone in the past.

Never thought of a beautiful present turning out to be a dark pass,

A gift to hold and travel to a burning past.

Haunting memories of an innocent smile,

Blue eyes with an ocean inside,

The days were so wonderful with you on my side,

All those pictures are talking to me and tearing me from inside.

When all mothers are celebrating the day with their children by their side,

All I can hope is you are at rest with no pain to cry,

Oh my baby! I hope you are having a good time with God by your side.

Dedicated to all the mothers who lost their children.

Please leave your comments on the topic as I would really love to read them.

The Pretence

So, how’s this, this mask?

Do I look pretty? Do I look smart?

Tell me, what is my role today?

Should I just keep my eyes dry or should I also wear a smile?

All those bruises can be made unseen

With a make up and no one will ever be keen

To question how fake is the smile

Or am I living a lie

An abuser lives in all of us

Some find happiness in other’s tears

Beating up, mocking up and blocking everything what is dear

Making me to wish that the death is near

Others like to turn a blind eye

Never reach out but love to give a long sigh

All I want is someone to sit beside

No need to talk, just hold my hands tight

It’s another day as I can see the light

I should be ready for the people outside

So tell me, how’s this, this mask?

Do I look pretty? Do I look smart?

Dedicated to the victims of all kinds of abuse who manage to wear a mask everyday and pretend to be okay. 

Please leave your comments on the topic as I would really love to read them.

Say No To Bullying,Say Yes To Buddying…

Every week, I make sure that I watch a movie with my daughter which has a moral lesson to learn and this time, I chose “Wonder”. It is a feel good movie which teaches us to value and honor the differences in others. Now, why I wanted my daughter to see it is because I wanted to show her how bullying can impact the lives of people involved and why is it necessary to stop it from the beginning.

If you think bullying is only in schools or colleges then you are wrong. It can happen in your workplace or even in a public place in any form (physical, verbal or cyber) and from anyone to anyone, no matter what age, sex, colour or creed. I remember meeting an old aged man. He asked me from where I’m and was it the first time I travelled out of my country and when I replied to his questions, he gave me a remark which I still cannot forget after two years. In his own words, “It must be an eye opener for you then, seeing all the beautiful white faces here.” Considering his age and physical condition, I didn’t give him any response but it did hurt me a lot. That incident is a proof that even in this 21st century, a person can be so narrow minded to even think like this.

Everyone of us must have a story of their own about bullying and how we feel about it. It may have happened only once in the life time but I’m sure that it’s one thing which we cannot forget easily. It can affect us physically, emotionally and mentally and can cause long term consequences such as psychosomatic diseases, low self esteem, suicidal ideation and substance abuse. It can also have a serious effect on the bullied person socially by causing difficulty in the establishment of trusting reciprocal friendships and relationships.

As a solution to this social menace, government has implemented anti bullying laws and schools teach children how to identify and tackle them. But most importantly, I think that the anti bullying campaign should start from the family from an early age. I believe that a child learns what the grown ups practice and not what they preach. So, it is our responsibility to show children to respect others in all their differences, no matter what their looks, color, age, status, religion or nationality are and to love them for their inner qualities. This way, not only the schools and colleges will be safe but also the work places and public places too.

Not all forms of abuse leave bruises.

Danielle Steel

The common mistake that bullies make is assuming that because someone is nice that he or she is weak. Those traits have nothing to do with each other. In fact, it takes considerable strength and character to be a good person.

Mary Elizabeth Williams

Bullying consists of the least competent most aggressive employee projecting their incompetence on to the least aggressive most competent employee and winning.

Tim Field

All cruelty springs from weakness.

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

We all lose when bullying and personal attacks become a substitute for genuine conversation and principled disagreement.

Alicia Garza

This isn’t a high school thing or an age thing. It’s a people thing. People cut other people down out of jealousy, because of something broken inside them, or for no reason at all. Just don’t let them change you or stop you from singing or dancing around to your favorite song.

Taylor Swift

People say sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never hurt you, but that’s not true. Words can hurt. They hurt me. Things were said to me that I still haven’t forgotten.

Demi Lovato

No one heals himself by wounding another.

St. Ambrose

Please post your views on the topic as I would really love to read them.