It's all over me and inside me,
From the uppermost layers of dead cells of my skin,
To the innermost dark caves of my soul,
From birth to till this age,
All those fingerprints had made me,
And moulded me.
The tapping hands on my back when I was born to make me breath,
The soothing ones when I cried,
The loving touch of my mother and father,
And the caring ones of my beloved grandparents.
The naughty ones of my little brother who pulled my hair during fights,
Teachers who gave their blessings on my head,
The friends who loved to hold my hands and hug,
And the family next-door who gave me food when my parents were not at home.
The touch of a person who I loved the most,
The words of the same which made prints on my heart and soul,
The people who disgraced me for who I'm,
The hands which tore me inside out.
The little fingers which aroused all my motherly instincts,
To love and to care without any conditions,
To be strong against all the evils when it's needed,
To find happiness and be hopeful about the future.
The person who left me hanging on the thread,
The people who ruined everything what was left,
The hands which shattered everything one after another,
To destroy my life and to crush my spirit.
All those fingerprints in my life,
Taught me how to be a human,
To be brave and vulnerable at the same time,
To be positive when I find negativity all outside,
To smile and be kind to someone who is being unkind.
When the night falls,
Sun leaves you and the darkness starts to fill your eyeballs,
When you stumble on every rock on your way,
All alone on a road in a land far far away,
When all you can hear are the screams of stillness,
And you find signs of increasing frailness,
Open your eyes and look in the sky,
As the moon and stars are not saying you goodbye,
Feel the ground,
And walk as if you own the land,
Listen to the sound of wind in the trees,
The music of the rustling leaves,
Settle your nerves,
Because you are a part of this powerful universe.
I saw dark circles under my eyes,
But they always told the truth and never the lies,
They have hope beyond the troubles in the world,
Even when I was feeling all crumbled.
I saw wrinkles on my face,
But they reminded me of all the laughters and the grace,
They were not only the signs of my love and care,
But also my strong determination and will that you must beware.
I saw my hairs are turning grey,
That's not a reason for dismay,
That salt and pepper hairs on my head,
Are the signs that I have come so far ahead.
Dowry – A bid for a happy marriage or even life
Dowry, a menace which is considered as an insurance for a happy married life of a woman. Sometimes, her life can be at stake if her husband or in-laws think that the dowry that they have got is not enough or not upto their status. So, why am I writing on this today?
A final year BAMS student died in her in-laws’ house. Her parents claimed that they had given a Toyota Yaris car, 100 sovereigns of gold and more than an acre of land, as ‘gifts’ at the time of her wedding last year. But it was not enough for her husband, an Assistant Motor Vehicle Inspector as he felt that the car was not upto his status. So he used to abuse her both physically and mentally which made her to kill herself.
A 24-year-old died after she was set ablaze, by her husband, an year after their marriage and repeated demands and torture for more dowry. He came to his wife’s parents house to take her back. He had a bottle of diesel with him which he said was to control termites. When they reached his house that poor woman was set on fire with the same bottle of diesel.
A 25-year-old died last year after she was bitten by a snake in her bedroom which was on the first floor of the house. This was the second time she was bitten by a poisonous snake in two months, inside the house. At the time of their wedding her husband was given a huge amount of money, lots of gold and even a car. But, it wasn’t enough for him. After her family started talking about divorce, he was afraid that he would have to give all the dowry back. So he bought two poisonous snakes and left them on his wife while she was asleep. A well – planned murder, isn’t it?
The above said are three recent cases happened one after another in a state which claims to have a 100% of literacy rate in India. So, what’s happening? Where is this all education going? Where are we going as human beings? Does a woman’s life depends on how much money or financial assets she brings to her husband? Do we still have to keep doing this crime in the name of culture and traditions? Why can’t a girl and her parents say no to the marriage itself when the question of dowry comes in first place?
Only answer to this question is to stop thinking a girl child as a burden and to stop preparing her for a married life from the day she is born. For example, I was cooking one day a few years back when an old lady comes to the house and says very lovingly to my daughter to start learning how to cook. When I asked why, her answer was that she has to make her husband and his family happy. Seriously! She was only two years old at that time.
It is also really significant to give proper education to our daughters and to make them financially independent. We will have to make her brave enough to stand up for herself and to make important decisions about her life. A good education and a job will help her not to rely on others in terms of finance and thus making her self sufficient.
I have always been against dowry and I will be fighting against it till the end of my life. It’s not only because I have a daughter and I would like to give her a better place to live, but also, because it’s the right thing to do.
Please leave your comments on the topic as I would really love to read them.